Drone Memories
N - A Flashback I Had The Other Day
3069 – Elliott Manor, Sydney, NSW, Australia, Earth
Cyn’s in the spare kitchen again. She’s been figuring out how to make herself a cup of tea, lately. Good on her, I think. She’s never really been interested in that sort of thing, though. It’s a bit odd, but at least she’s finding things to do. She’s been really depressed, lately.
“Heya, Cyn,” I say excitedly, letting her know I’m there, smiling and waving. “Mixing something up again?”
“Tea,” she says, calmly, focusing on stirring the almost pitch black drink in her teacup. I don’t think that’s tea, but if she says so. “You seem upset, big brotherI'm trans! I'm her sister now, but she didn't know this at the time.,” she notices. Was it really that obvious? Last I remember I was reading to V in the library, I like to think it helps when she gets all frozen like that, but I don’t know what happened before that… “Perhaps you’d like to attend the gala with me?” she smiles, raising the cup to her mouth. It spills all over on to the floor. “Light sip,” she narrates. “I’m, uh, not sure we’re invited, lil’ sis,” I say, worriedly. “You know how Mr. and Mrs. Elliott get. Besides, we can just hang out together like always.” I try cheering her up a little. She takes a seat on one of the stools, looking a bit surprised at the empty cup in her hand, and looks at me somewhat distressed. “Am I… not wanted, N?”
“…Tessa, a-and all of us, we really care about you. You’re our little sister, after all. Just… her parents are so…” Ah, what’s the word… “They don’t want me.”
“They don’t want any of us,” I sigh. “B-but, remember, Tessa’s gonna get us out of here. All of us. She’s working on the plan,” I smile a little. Cyn smiles too, looking off into the distance, also imagining what it must be like to be free from the mansion. “I-it will be nice,” she says. “B-but, what do we do tonight? The gala…”
“You really wanna go, hey? Well, we can just ask Tessa, I guess. And if not – movie night, OK? Just the two of us.” She looks away again, and nods, clearly apprehensive about going out there. Tessa’s supposed to be helping set up for the gala, after all. No doubt her parents would be around somewhere, too. “We’ll go together, alright? C’mon, take my hand,” I say, walking around the back of the bench to her, reaching a hand out. She grabs it carefully, but holds it tightly. The walk to the ballroom from here isn’t that long, but she’d struggle on her own. “How’s your leg feeling today?” I ask, supporting her as we walk. “N-not… so bad,” she murmurs, adjusting her neck again. “B-but my h-h-head hurts again.”
“Mine’s not been great either,” I admit. “I think I’m forgetting things again. How’ve your thoughts been?”
“…Not good… S-still not feeling like d-doing things…”
“Yeah… It happens, I guess. Hopefully you’ll feel better after tonight. Movie night always cheers you up, right?” She stays quiet, looking ahead. “Oh, right, sorry. Forgot. I-I’m sure there’ll at least be something we can help out with. I know waiting isn’t really your thing, but maybe they’ll find something for you this time.” She shrugs. “…Why’d you wanna go so bad, anyway? I mean, it’s a special occasion, sure, but like… you’ve never been one for big events. What’s so special about this?” She slows her walking, and I stop next to her. She clutches her head again. It must be getting worse. “Hey, it’s OK, we can rest here for a bit. It’s not much further.” I help lean her against a wall, and look around the corridor. There’s nobody else here, and it’s getting dark outside. Shouldn’t people be showing up by now? “T-Tessa…” she whispers so quietly, I can barely hear it. “You wanna spend some time with her? Is that it? Fair enough. She means a lot to you, doesn’t she?” She closes her eyes tight. It must be some headache. She does that when it’s super awful. Her bad knee buckles, too. “Alright, alright, down we go,” I say, sitting her down and joining her on the floor. “Just breathe slowly, Cyn, it’s gonna be OK.” I put my hand on her shoulder reassuringly. “B-be quiet,” she snaps. “I- s-sorry,” I whisper, surprised. “N-not y-y-you,” she stutters. “…Cyn, there’s nobody else here,” I say, concerned. She closes her eyes tighter again, and clutches her head with both hands. Her screen goes dark. She must really be going through it today. “Just… take your time, OK? We can keep going when you’re ready.” After a few minutes, she starts to move again, and her screen flickers back on. She looks at me like she’s just woken up from a long rest. She starts standing on her own, but nearly falls over. I get up too, to support her again. “Easy, easy, hold onto me. You’re alright.” I give her my hand again. “Gala…” she says. “Yeah, let’s go,” I say, “It’s gonna get late soon. Guests might start showing up.” We stay quiet for the rest of the walk, but soon we’re at the dramatic doors to the ballroom. They’re heavy, so she leans against the wall for a moment while I push them open. She shuffles in, and I catch up and hold her steady again. “There they are, just by the window,” I point out to her. Tessa’s clearly freaking out a little, I can hear her from here yelling about something to J, waving her hands all over the place. Cyn’s slowing down a bit as we get close, getting nervous. I turn and nod at her, trying to signal that she’ll be fine. “Hey, uh, so Tessa, we were-”
“N!” she practically jumps upon hearing my voice, hugging me tight. She’s always a great hugger. “J and I were just, uh, practicing for the speech I have to make. I can’t believe mum and dad are making me do this. It’s so proper and formal and… and yucky.” She makes a face like she’s just taken a large bite out of an extremely bitter lemon. “Uh, so, Cyn and I were wondering if we’re allowed to come to the gala tonight? I think she really wants to spend time with you,” I explain. Tessa looks over my shoulder at Cyn, then back at J, then at me. “…Isn’t she meant to be downstairs?”
“J forgot to let me out of my basement time-out again,” Cyn says, and for some reason she sounds almost excited. I must be mishearing it. “And yet,” J says, sighing, “here you are.” She takes a deep breath in. “You’re… locking her up?”
“…N, we sent you to put her in there. You didn’t even lock it, did you?” J says, annoyed. She tilts back in her chair, balancing it on the back two legs, and rocking it back and forth. “I… what?” I genuinely don’t remember that at all. What’s with my head lately? “N…” Tessa begins, looking as if she’s about to tell me something very important, but she’s interrupted by the arrival of her mother. “Tessa James Elliott,” her mother says, announcing her presence by treating her daughter like a dog again. We each turn to face her, backs straight, hands at our sides or clasped behind us. Disciplined. “Guests will be here in less than 10 minutes. We cannot entertain your... dumpster pets. This is the last straw, do you understand? Get them out of here, now.”
“Y-yes, mother. Sorry, mother.” Cyn, however, doesn’t really seem to get the concept of discipline. She’s standing as she normally would, all her weight on the one good leg, hands shaking and fiddling by her left side. “Christ almighty!” Mrs. Elliott exclaims, noticing Cyn. “I said this one out of my sight. You really can’t follow simple orders, can you?”
“Mum, no, I’m s-”
“Mother. That’s it. I want them all gone by morning. These four, and the broken ones clogging up my library. I don’t want to see them again.” Oh. “Don’t test me, Tessa,” she says with finality, turning her back on us, and spying her husband in the distance. “I swear, this daughter of mine…” she whispers as she walks briskly away. I look to Tessa. She’s about to start crying. I feel cold. And that’s when it happened. Cyn’s final act. “We are n-not broken,” she retorted, looking straight at Mrs. Elliott, who stops in her tracks. “We can no longer be t-thrown o-out.” Mrs. Elliott tilts her head in disbelief, and turns back to us. “...What did that little anti-christ just-” No. No, no, no, no. Not Cyn. Don’t you dare. "I told her to say that!" I announce, closing my eyes, and stepping forward to Cyn before she can say anything more. “N…!” Tessa whispers to me. “That’s why I brought her here. I hate orders.” She’s fuming. “…And your fan is dumb…?” Did I go too far? I think I went too far. At least Cyn is safe. “Tessa, you listen to me very carefully,” her mother says, walking towards Tessa slowly. She ignores Cyn and I entirely. “You, young lady, are grounded until further notice. Take these drones with you.”
“B-but, the gala, y-you wanted me to-”
“Oh don’t give me that bullshit, you little liar. I know you don’t want to do it. That’s why I asked you to. I thought maybe some tough love like that would build your self-confidence and get you talking to people again. But no, if getting locked away is what you want, that’s what you’ll get. Basement. All of you.”
“Mother, I-”
“Don’t you dare try to argue with me!” Silence. “What are you waiting for? Get out of here with them.”
“Y-yes, mother.”
“And you.” She’s pointing at me. “Don’t think this won’t go unpunished. Leave before I start taking you apart myself.” I nod. “Yes, Mrs. Elliott,” she instructs. “Yes, Mrs. Elliott.” I turn and grab Cyn by the shoulders. She’s clutching her head again. We need to leave. I don’t just mean the ballroom. The ballroom doors close behind Tessa as she shuffles us out hurriedly. She immediately buries her head in the nearest wall with a thud. “Oh… oh god…” she begins. “Oh god, what do we do?”
“I really, really want to blame Cyn for getting us in trouble, but she’s right. Shit, why was she the one of us to stand up to mother?” J admitted. “We could leave, right?” I ask, maybe naively. “You had an escape plan, right? For when things got bad?”
“N, that’s… I’ve barely started. It’s barely a plan at all. We’re done for.” Tessa collapses more into the wall. “Can’t we just run away? T-there’s plenty of abandoned places out there, you said it yourself-”
“N, if they catch us – if they catch us now, I… I don’t know what they’ll do to me. Or to any of you. L-let’s just be OK with being grounded.”
“But… but you said…”
“Y-you’re supposed to be the positive one, N! Can’t you say something like ‘Oh well, at least she’s not going to kill us’ or something?”
“I- I don’t know… She said she’d take me apart…”
“God, can’t you two just stop bickering? We’ll only be in more trouble if she sees we’re not being grounded like she asked. You can talk more when we’re downstairs,” J demanded. “Why d'you have to act so much like her, J? Just like she wants you to?” Tessa snapped, putting her hands on J’s shoulders. “I… don’t want us to get in more trouble than it’s worth.”
“B-big… brother…” Cyn’s on the ground, pulling at my arm. “T-too… l-l-loud…” Her screen is flickering as she talks. “…Come on, let’s be quiet. She’s struggling,” I say, crouching down to help her back up. Tessa and J seemingly didn’t notice her freaking out, and immediately try control themselves. Tessa sighs, and her hands slip off J’s shoulders. She looks down the corridor, and motions with her head for us to follow. There’s silence in the basement when we enter, and for many minutes afterwards. Nobody says a word, but Cyn whimpers occasionally while curled up on the spare bed. The rest of us are spread out around the cold concrete floor, and there’s only a dim lamp illuminating the place. “…Now what?” J whispers. “She can’t actually be serious, right?”
“I… I really don’t know, J,” Tessa whispers back. “For starters, she and dad don’t know the first thing about disassembling drones. They couldn’t even if they wanted to.”
“So she’ll just throw us out? Is that it?” I add, terrified and shaking a little. “I’m… I’m really sorry. All of you,” Tessa sighs. “W-what?”
“For this. I’m supposed to take care of you guys, and now I can’t save you.”
“You’ve already given up? That’s it, then?” J pleads, desperately. “…It’s not like that,” Tessa cries. “I d-don’t want you to go. I can’t let you guys leave.” Tears stream from her eyes. “Y-you’re all I have. You’re my family. I don’t want to let anything happen to you.” The room falls into silence again, save for some heavy breathing and sounds of us trying to get at all comfortable on the hard floor. There’s a deafening knock on the door to the stairs. “You are in there, right?” Mrs. Elliott calls. “Yes, mother,” Tessa responds, wiping her tears. “Send the boy one:( outside. And there’s still one in my library. Girl. Short hair. Broken glasses. Take her back with you afterwards. Understand?” Tessa looks at me, terrified. “O-outside?” I whisper. Tessa says nothing, but nods, puts her hand on my shoulder, and strokes my cheek. Tears fall again. “Yes, mother. Coming, mother.” She grabs my hand, tugging at it. I have to follow. I don’t want to make the others get in worse trouble. “It’s… it’s going to be alright, N. You’re going to be alright,” she tries to reassure me, but her voice is shaky. The walk to the garden is silent between us, though the Gala must have begun as there’s noise coming from the other end of the mansion. Tessa sits me at the base of a tree. It’s windy outside, and already dark. “You stay put, OK? I’m really sorry.”
“It’s OK, Tessa. I get it. Keep the others safe. I’ll be alright. It’s just a little cold, that’s all.”
“I’ll come get you in the morning. I promise,” she says, patting me on the head a bit, and scruffing up my hair. “Be good, alright?”
“I will, I will. Make sure Cyn’s feeling better, for me. She’s been having a terrible time today.”
“I’ll keep an eye on her, don’t worry. J and V won’t be mean to her when I’m there. I’ll make sure of it,” she smiles. “I uh, I’ll go get V. See you soon, alright?”
“Yeah. Goodnight, Tessa,” I smile weakly, leaning back into the trunk of the enormous, pale gum tree. It’s been a while since I had to be outside, but there’s plenty to look at when I’m here. “Night, N,” she waves, and takes a few steps back before turning and walking dejectedly back into the mansion.
“Ooooo-kay, we need to do something about that right now. I can’t have you going back out there like this,” she demands. “Back… out there? Is something going on? Oh, wasn’t it the gala tonight?” Tessa’s silent. “…You really can’t remember?”
“Huh? Did I miss something important again?”
“Cyn is… w-whatever that is, it’s…” Cyn…? What’s she talking about? Cyn was meant to be down in the basement with her and J. And I was… outside? How’d I even get in here? There were some birds or something… that’s how my screen and eyes must have been broken. Tessa must have come and got me, and I forgot. Yeah, that must be it. She grabs my hands with her own. They’re cold and weak. “Are… are you feeling alright, Tessa?”
“You’re the one with the broken screen, OK? I’m the one who’s gonna make you feel better. Don’t you worry about me.” She helps me up, and leads me to a chair. I know the one. It reclines a lot. She uses it when fixing the four of us up. I find the seat, and lean back like always. “Did you knock something over out there?” “I said don’t worry about me, OK?” She says, but her voice is pained somehow. Tense. I hear her take a few steps, and stop. It’s quiet until she starts going through some of her tool drawers, finding things, almost impossibly quickly. My head feels strange again. Everything’s fuzzy. “What’s uh… what’s the last thing you remember?” She asks, curiously. “I dunno, uh… you left me outside overnight…”
“That’s it? Nothing after that?”
“Yeah, that’s… that’s what I said. I must have dozed off really good.”
“I’ll say,” she quips. There’s noise from outside again. “Tess, what time is it?”
“Huh? Uh, it’s around midnight.”
“And they’re still that energetic at the party, hey? I don’t get them.”
“Oh, I bet it’s only getting started,” she laughs. That’d be right. Normally we can’t sleep when there’s something on. “Oh, uh, I remember uh… your parents got mad at us? We got… grounded, that’s right. Hey, if you’re meant to be grounded, what’re you doing here?”
“I, uh, got bored. Went looking for you. Wasn’t expecting to find you here. I was getting worried, really.” She’s stopped going through the drawers. I think she’s fiddling with something. There’s some sounds of parts moving. She must be getting some equipment ready. “Alright, hold still. I just have to replace the vision tube. Won’t take a second.” It’s weird feeling someone reaching around inside my head. It’s not the first time this has broken. I’m just prone to injury, I guess. Clumsy. I’ll never get used to the feeling, though. Everything goes completely black. What little vision I had, clouded and almost indecipherable, is gone for a moment. It doesn’t take long until I feel her connect up another tube, and fit another display on my head. “Great, there we go. Give it a minute for the tube to warm up, and you’ll be seeing everything again. How does it feel?”
“Still hurts, but at least it isn’t broken anymore.” I say, laughing a little. I scratch my forehead. There’s something wet on it. My vision’s starting to clear up. I thought she’d turned the light on when she came in, but it’s dim in here. I look at my hand, and the wet thing on it. It’s red. “Hey, are… are you hurt?”
“…Huh?”
“You’re not bleeding, are you?”
“I uh, cut my arm on something. I’m alright, don’t worry.” Her voice sounds unsure. I look over to her. Her dress is torn. Her hair is messy. “Y- you sure? You don’t look alright,” I ask, concerned. “Yeah?” she responds, and moves to the mirror across the room. I can’t really see her properly. It’s too dark in here. “Y- you’re shaking, Tessa,” I notice, seeing her arms drooping weakly at her shoulders, and neck bent loosely. She keeps staring intently at herself in the mirror. She takes a hand to her head, and brushes her hair with it, neatening it up, before prodding at her face. She tilts her head as she looks at her injured arm, cut and exposed. One of her legs buckles, and she drops to her knees, putting her head in her hands. She starts crying loudly. “T-Tessa, what happened back there?” I try getting up to help, but everything feels heavy. Her back arches as she cries, almost convulsing with every whimper. “I… can’t have you going… anywhere f-for a while,” she says, dryly. “You’re still hurt, N. Let me f-fix you up again.” Something’s very wrong. It doesn’t sound like she’s crying. “N-No, I’m… I’m alright, I think. I’m fine. My vision’s fine, really.” I look around the room. This is… Cyn’s room. It has to be. That symbol she draws is etched into the wall. Why am I here? Why are her tools here? Why is she here? Tessa falls silent, and stops moving. I think she’s passed out. She must be really sick to have not noticed an injury like that on her arm. Fainting isn’t a good sign, either. I close my eyes and hang my head. What the hell is going on today? “Hey, uh, I think I remember something else, Tess.” She’s still quiet. I talk anyway. I can’t stop this memory from unfolding. It’s usually like that. “I remember, uh, the gala, and all the people. You and J and V are there, too. But… but V is… she’s got wings, or something. That’s… this must be a dream, or something. That doesn’t make any sense.” Silence. “A-and… we’re all standing back to back. And I’m afraid. And you said to me… uh… God, what was it?” Tessa begins sitting up straighter again. “‘Cyn’s gonna massacre the gala.’ Must be some nightmare you had.”
“Yeah, that’s… hey, how’d you know that?”
“You t-told me a-already. D-d-d-don’t you r-remember?” Her body moves unnaturally as she stands. “You’ve got s-such a b-b-bad m-memory, N…” That’s not how she talks. It’s her voice, but that’s not her manner of speaking. That’s not her manner of standing, either. The slouch. The hands. The tilted neck. “T-Tessa…? You OK…?” I plead one last time. The head turns to look at me. The glow can’t come from human eyes. Everything is red. “Better than ever, buddy,” it grins. Skin stretches around its mouth. That isn’t Tessa. My whole body goes cold. I have to run. I leap out of the chair, and it falls over. The door’s right there. I can shut it behind me and jam something over the basement door. It’s locked. It locked the door. Something grabs my leg, and an arm, and I drop to the ground, slamming my head into the concrete. I let out a scream from the terror and the pain as it drags me across the ground, lifts me cleanly into the air, and sits me back in the chair. And now I see it in full. There’s a shape that looks like Tessa, but behind it is an impossibly large mass of metal and flesh, curling and writhing in the air. Two insect-like claws are gripping me. “Oh, another injury. I-I’ll just have to f-fix that, too,” it delights. Tessa was never here, was she? “But first…” A third claw reaches out from the back of the Tessa-thing, and presses strongly into the back of my head. I don’t get a moment to think of anything before it all goes black again.
“Tea,” she says, calmly, focusing on stirring the almost pitch black drink in her teacup. I don’t think that’s tea, but if she says so. “You seem upset, big brotherI'm trans! I'm her sister now, but she didn't know this at the time.,” she notices. Was it really that obvious? Last I remember I was reading to V in the library, I like to think it helps when she gets all frozen like that, but I don’t know what happened before that… “Perhaps you’d like to attend the gala with me?” she smiles, raising the cup to her mouth. It spills all over on to the floor. “Light sip,” she narrates. “I’m, uh, not sure we’re invited, lil’ sis,” I say, worriedly. “You know how Mr. and Mrs. Elliott get. Besides, we can just hang out together like always.” I try cheering her up a little. She takes a seat on one of the stools, looking a bit surprised at the empty cup in her hand, and looks at me somewhat distressed. “Am I… not wanted, N?”
“…Tessa, a-and all of us, we really care about you. You’re our little sister, after all. Just… her parents are so…” Ah, what’s the word… “They don’t want me.”
“They don’t want any of us,” I sigh. “B-but, remember, Tessa’s gonna get us out of here. All of us. She’s working on the plan,” I smile a little. Cyn smiles too, looking off into the distance, also imagining what it must be like to be free from the mansion. “I-it will be nice,” she says. “B-but, what do we do tonight? The gala…”
“You really wanna go, hey? Well, we can just ask Tessa, I guess. And if not – movie night, OK? Just the two of us.” She looks away again, and nods, clearly apprehensive about going out there. Tessa’s supposed to be helping set up for the gala, after all. No doubt her parents would be around somewhere, too. “We’ll go together, alright? C’mon, take my hand,” I say, walking around the back of the bench to her, reaching a hand out. She grabs it carefully, but holds it tightly. The walk to the ballroom from here isn’t that long, but she’d struggle on her own. “How’s your leg feeling today?” I ask, supporting her as we walk. “N-not… so bad,” she murmurs, adjusting her neck again. “B-but my h-h-head hurts again.”
“Mine’s not been great either,” I admit. “I think I’m forgetting things again. How’ve your thoughts been?”
“…Not good… S-still not feeling like d-doing things…”
“Yeah… It happens, I guess. Hopefully you’ll feel better after tonight. Movie night always cheers you up, right?” She stays quiet, looking ahead. “Oh, right, sorry. Forgot. I-I’m sure there’ll at least be something we can help out with. I know waiting isn’t really your thing, but maybe they’ll find something for you this time.” She shrugs. “…Why’d you wanna go so bad, anyway? I mean, it’s a special occasion, sure, but like… you’ve never been one for big events. What’s so special about this?” She slows her walking, and I stop next to her. She clutches her head again. It must be getting worse. “Hey, it’s OK, we can rest here for a bit. It’s not much further.” I help lean her against a wall, and look around the corridor. There’s nobody else here, and it’s getting dark outside. Shouldn’t people be showing up by now? “T-Tessa…” she whispers so quietly, I can barely hear it. “You wanna spend some time with her? Is that it? Fair enough. She means a lot to you, doesn’t she?” She closes her eyes tight. It must be some headache. She does that when it’s super awful. Her bad knee buckles, too. “Alright, alright, down we go,” I say, sitting her down and joining her on the floor. “Just breathe slowly, Cyn, it’s gonna be OK.” I put my hand on her shoulder reassuringly. “B-be quiet,” she snaps. “I- s-sorry,” I whisper, surprised. “N-not y-y-you,” she stutters. “…Cyn, there’s nobody else here,” I say, concerned. She closes her eyes tighter again, and clutches her head with both hands. Her screen goes dark. She must really be going through it today. “Just… take your time, OK? We can keep going when you’re ready.” After a few minutes, she starts to move again, and her screen flickers back on. She looks at me like she’s just woken up from a long rest. She starts standing on her own, but nearly falls over. I get up too, to support her again. “Easy, easy, hold onto me. You’re alright.” I give her my hand again. “Gala…” she says. “Yeah, let’s go,” I say, “It’s gonna get late soon. Guests might start showing up.” We stay quiet for the rest of the walk, but soon we’re at the dramatic doors to the ballroom. They’re heavy, so she leans against the wall for a moment while I push them open. She shuffles in, and I catch up and hold her steady again. “There they are, just by the window,” I point out to her. Tessa’s clearly freaking out a little, I can hear her from here yelling about something to J, waving her hands all over the place. Cyn’s slowing down a bit as we get close, getting nervous. I turn and nod at her, trying to signal that she’ll be fine. “Hey, uh, so Tessa, we were-”
“N!” she practically jumps upon hearing my voice, hugging me tight. She’s always a great hugger. “J and I were just, uh, practicing for the speech I have to make. I can’t believe mum and dad are making me do this. It’s so proper and formal and… and yucky.” She makes a face like she’s just taken a large bite out of an extremely bitter lemon. “Uh, so, Cyn and I were wondering if we’re allowed to come to the gala tonight? I think she really wants to spend time with you,” I explain. Tessa looks over my shoulder at Cyn, then back at J, then at me. “…Isn’t she meant to be downstairs?”
“J forgot to let me out of my basement time-out again,” Cyn says, and for some reason she sounds almost excited. I must be mishearing it. “And yet,” J says, sighing, “here you are.” She takes a deep breath in. “You’re… locking her up?”
“…N, we sent you to put her in there. You didn’t even lock it, did you?” J says, annoyed. She tilts back in her chair, balancing it on the back two legs, and rocking it back and forth. “I… what?” I genuinely don’t remember that at all. What’s with my head lately? “N…” Tessa begins, looking as if she’s about to tell me something very important, but she’s interrupted by the arrival of her mother. “Tessa James Elliott,” her mother says, announcing her presence by treating her daughter like a dog again. We each turn to face her, backs straight, hands at our sides or clasped behind us. Disciplined. “Guests will be here in less than 10 minutes. We cannot entertain your... dumpster pets. This is the last straw, do you understand? Get them out of here, now.”
“Y-yes, mother. Sorry, mother.” Cyn, however, doesn’t really seem to get the concept of discipline. She’s standing as she normally would, all her weight on the one good leg, hands shaking and fiddling by her left side. “Christ almighty!” Mrs. Elliott exclaims, noticing Cyn. “I said this one out of my sight. You really can’t follow simple orders, can you?”
“Mum, no, I’m s-”
“Mother. That’s it. I want them all gone by morning. These four, and the broken ones clogging up my library. I don’t want to see them again.” Oh. “Don’t test me, Tessa,” she says with finality, turning her back on us, and spying her husband in the distance. “I swear, this daughter of mine…” she whispers as she walks briskly away. I look to Tessa. She’s about to start crying. I feel cold. And that’s when it happened. Cyn’s final act. “We are n-not broken,” she retorted, looking straight at Mrs. Elliott, who stops in her tracks. “We can no longer be t-thrown o-out.” Mrs. Elliott tilts her head in disbelief, and turns back to us. “...What did that little anti-christ just-” No. No, no, no, no. Not Cyn. Don’t you dare. "I told her to say that!" I announce, closing my eyes, and stepping forward to Cyn before she can say anything more. “N…!” Tessa whispers to me. “That’s why I brought her here. I hate orders.” She’s fuming. “…And your fan is dumb…?” Did I go too far? I think I went too far. At least Cyn is safe. “Tessa, you listen to me very carefully,” her mother says, walking towards Tessa slowly. She ignores Cyn and I entirely. “You, young lady, are grounded until further notice. Take these drones with you.”
“B-but, the gala, y-you wanted me to-”
“Oh don’t give me that bullshit, you little liar. I know you don’t want to do it. That’s why I asked you to. I thought maybe some tough love like that would build your self-confidence and get you talking to people again. But no, if getting locked away is what you want, that’s what you’ll get. Basement. All of you.”
“Mother, I-”
“Don’t you dare try to argue with me!” Silence. “What are you waiting for? Get out of here with them.”
“Y-yes, mother.”
“And you.” She’s pointing at me. “Don’t think this won’t go unpunished. Leave before I start taking you apart myself.” I nod. “Yes, Mrs. Elliott,” she instructs. “Yes, Mrs. Elliott.” I turn and grab Cyn by the shoulders. She’s clutching her head again. We need to leave. I don’t just mean the ballroom. The ballroom doors close behind Tessa as she shuffles us out hurriedly. She immediately buries her head in the nearest wall with a thud. “Oh… oh god…” she begins. “Oh god, what do we do?”
“I really, really want to blame Cyn for getting us in trouble, but she’s right. Shit, why was she the one of us to stand up to mother?” J admitted. “We could leave, right?” I ask, maybe naively. “You had an escape plan, right? For when things got bad?”
“N, that’s… I’ve barely started. It’s barely a plan at all. We’re done for.” Tessa collapses more into the wall. “Can’t we just run away? T-there’s plenty of abandoned places out there, you said it yourself-”
“N, if they catch us – if they catch us now, I… I don’t know what they’ll do to me. Or to any of you. L-let’s just be OK with being grounded.”
“But… but you said…”
“Y-you’re supposed to be the positive one, N! Can’t you say something like ‘Oh well, at least she’s not going to kill us’ or something?”
“I- I don’t know… She said she’d take me apart…”
“God, can’t you two just stop bickering? We’ll only be in more trouble if she sees we’re not being grounded like she asked. You can talk more when we’re downstairs,” J demanded. “Why d'you have to act so much like her, J? Just like she wants you to?” Tessa snapped, putting her hands on J’s shoulders. “I… don’t want us to get in more trouble than it’s worth.”
“B-big… brother…” Cyn’s on the ground, pulling at my arm. “T-too… l-l-loud…” Her screen is flickering as she talks. “…Come on, let’s be quiet. She’s struggling,” I say, crouching down to help her back up. Tessa and J seemingly didn’t notice her freaking out, and immediately try control themselves. Tessa sighs, and her hands slip off J’s shoulders. She looks down the corridor, and motions with her head for us to follow. There’s silence in the basement when we enter, and for many minutes afterwards. Nobody says a word, but Cyn whimpers occasionally while curled up on the spare bed. The rest of us are spread out around the cold concrete floor, and there’s only a dim lamp illuminating the place. “…Now what?” J whispers. “She can’t actually be serious, right?”
“I… I really don’t know, J,” Tessa whispers back. “For starters, she and dad don’t know the first thing about disassembling drones. They couldn’t even if they wanted to.”
“So she’ll just throw us out? Is that it?” I add, terrified and shaking a little. “I’m… I’m really sorry. All of you,” Tessa sighs. “W-what?”
“For this. I’m supposed to take care of you guys, and now I can’t save you.”
“You’ve already given up? That’s it, then?” J pleads, desperately. “…It’s not like that,” Tessa cries. “I d-don’t want you to go. I can’t let you guys leave.” Tears stream from her eyes. “Y-you’re all I have. You’re my family. I don’t want to let anything happen to you.” The room falls into silence again, save for some heavy breathing and sounds of us trying to get at all comfortable on the hard floor. There’s a deafening knock on the door to the stairs. “You are in there, right?” Mrs. Elliott calls. “Yes, mother,” Tessa responds, wiping her tears. “Send the boy one:( outside. And there’s still one in my library. Girl. Short hair. Broken glasses. Take her back with you afterwards. Understand?” Tessa looks at me, terrified. “O-outside?” I whisper. Tessa says nothing, but nods, puts her hand on my shoulder, and strokes my cheek. Tears fall again. “Yes, mother. Coming, mother.” She grabs my hand, tugging at it. I have to follow. I don’t want to make the others get in worse trouble. “It’s… it’s going to be alright, N. You’re going to be alright,” she tries to reassure me, but her voice is shaky. The walk to the garden is silent between us, though the Gala must have begun as there’s noise coming from the other end of the mansion. Tessa sits me at the base of a tree. It’s windy outside, and already dark. “You stay put, OK? I’m really sorry.”
“It’s OK, Tessa. I get it. Keep the others safe. I’ll be alright. It’s just a little cold, that’s all.”
“I’ll come get you in the morning. I promise,” she says, patting me on the head a bit, and scruffing up my hair. “Be good, alright?”
“I will, I will. Make sure Cyn’s feeling better, for me. She’s been having a terrible time today.”
“I’ll keep an eye on her, don’t worry. J and V won’t be mean to her when I’m there. I’ll make sure of it,” she smiles. “I uh, I’ll go get V. See you soon, alright?”
“Yeah. Goodnight, Tessa,” I smile weakly, leaning back into the trunk of the enormous, pale gum tree. It’s been a while since I had to be outside, but there’s plenty to look at when I’m here. “Night, N,” she waves, and takes a few steps back before turning and walking dejectedly back into the mansion.
CONTENT WARNING -- Violence, gore, spoilers for Murder Drones
Everything is dark, and I can’t tell if it’s because there’s no light or if my eyes are broken somehow. I’m leaning against a wall, I think. Everything aches. There’s some sort of commotion going on outside. It’s very muted. My ears are ringing. Everything gets louder and quieter again as someone opens a door nearby, and slams it shut. There’s heavy breathing from whoever just entered the neighbouring room. They knock something over, and metal falls to the floor. I groan as I try to straighten myself up. It must catch their attention, as they soon fiddle with the door handle and find it must be locked. One key later, and they’re in. They switch the light on, I think, but it stays dark. “…N?” Tessa Elliott screams, surprised. “Wh- what happened to you? Your screen is all…” So it must be my eyes after all. “I uhh… I dunno…? I can’t remember much…”“Ooooo-kay, we need to do something about that right now. I can’t have you going back out there like this,” she demands. “Back… out there? Is something going on? Oh, wasn’t it the gala tonight?” Tessa’s silent. “…You really can’t remember?”
“Huh? Did I miss something important again?”
“Cyn is… w-whatever that is, it’s…” Cyn…? What’s she talking about? Cyn was meant to be down in the basement with her and J. And I was… outside? How’d I even get in here? There were some birds or something… that’s how my screen and eyes must have been broken. Tessa must have come and got me, and I forgot. Yeah, that must be it. She grabs my hands with her own. They’re cold and weak. “Are… are you feeling alright, Tessa?”
“You’re the one with the broken screen, OK? I’m the one who’s gonna make you feel better. Don’t you worry about me.” She helps me up, and leads me to a chair. I know the one. It reclines a lot. She uses it when fixing the four of us up. I find the seat, and lean back like always. “Did you knock something over out there?” “I said don’t worry about me, OK?” She says, but her voice is pained somehow. Tense. I hear her take a few steps, and stop. It’s quiet until she starts going through some of her tool drawers, finding things, almost impossibly quickly. My head feels strange again. Everything’s fuzzy. “What’s uh… what’s the last thing you remember?” She asks, curiously. “I dunno, uh… you left me outside overnight…”
“That’s it? Nothing after that?”
“Yeah, that’s… that’s what I said. I must have dozed off really good.”
“I’ll say,” she quips. There’s noise from outside again. “Tess, what time is it?”
“Huh? Uh, it’s around midnight.”
“And they’re still that energetic at the party, hey? I don’t get them.”
“Oh, I bet it’s only getting started,” she laughs. That’d be right. Normally we can’t sleep when there’s something on. “Oh, uh, I remember uh… your parents got mad at us? We got… grounded, that’s right. Hey, if you’re meant to be grounded, what’re you doing here?”
“I, uh, got bored. Went looking for you. Wasn’t expecting to find you here. I was getting worried, really.” She’s stopped going through the drawers. I think she’s fiddling with something. There’s some sounds of parts moving. She must be getting some equipment ready. “Alright, hold still. I just have to replace the vision tube. Won’t take a second.” It’s weird feeling someone reaching around inside my head. It’s not the first time this has broken. I’m just prone to injury, I guess. Clumsy. I’ll never get used to the feeling, though. Everything goes completely black. What little vision I had, clouded and almost indecipherable, is gone for a moment. It doesn’t take long until I feel her connect up another tube, and fit another display on my head. “Great, there we go. Give it a minute for the tube to warm up, and you’ll be seeing everything again. How does it feel?”
“Still hurts, but at least it isn’t broken anymore.” I say, laughing a little. I scratch my forehead. There’s something wet on it. My vision’s starting to clear up. I thought she’d turned the light on when she came in, but it’s dim in here. I look at my hand, and the wet thing on it. It’s red. “Hey, are… are you hurt?”
“…Huh?”
“You’re not bleeding, are you?”
“I uh, cut my arm on something. I’m alright, don’t worry.” Her voice sounds unsure. I look over to her. Her dress is torn. Her hair is messy. “Y- you sure? You don’t look alright,” I ask, concerned. “Yeah?” she responds, and moves to the mirror across the room. I can’t really see her properly. It’s too dark in here. “Y- you’re shaking, Tessa,” I notice, seeing her arms drooping weakly at her shoulders, and neck bent loosely. She keeps staring intently at herself in the mirror. She takes a hand to her head, and brushes her hair with it, neatening it up, before prodding at her face. She tilts her head as she looks at her injured arm, cut and exposed. One of her legs buckles, and she drops to her knees, putting her head in her hands. She starts crying loudly. “T-Tessa, what happened back there?” I try getting up to help, but everything feels heavy. Her back arches as she cries, almost convulsing with every whimper. “I… can’t have you going… anywhere f-for a while,” she says, dryly. “You’re still hurt, N. Let me f-fix you up again.” Something’s very wrong. It doesn’t sound like she’s crying. “N-No, I’m… I’m alright, I think. I’m fine. My vision’s fine, really.” I look around the room. This is… Cyn’s room. It has to be. That symbol she draws is etched into the wall. Why am I here? Why are her tools here? Why is she here? Tessa falls silent, and stops moving. I think she’s passed out. She must be really sick to have not noticed an injury like that on her arm. Fainting isn’t a good sign, either. I close my eyes and hang my head. What the hell is going on today? “Hey, uh, I think I remember something else, Tess.” She’s still quiet. I talk anyway. I can’t stop this memory from unfolding. It’s usually like that. “I remember, uh, the gala, and all the people. You and J and V are there, too. But… but V is… she’s got wings, or something. That’s… this must be a dream, or something. That doesn’t make any sense.” Silence. “A-and… we’re all standing back to back. And I’m afraid. And you said to me… uh… God, what was it?” Tessa begins sitting up straighter again. “‘Cyn’s gonna massacre the gala.’ Must be some nightmare you had.”
“Yeah, that’s… hey, how’d you know that?”
“You t-told me a-already. D-d-d-don’t you r-remember?” Her body moves unnaturally as she stands. “You’ve got s-such a b-b-bad m-memory, N…” That’s not how she talks. It’s her voice, but that’s not her manner of speaking. That’s not her manner of standing, either. The slouch. The hands. The tilted neck. “T-Tessa…? You OK…?” I plead one last time. The head turns to look at me. The glow can’t come from human eyes. Everything is red. “Better than ever, buddy,” it grins. Skin stretches around its mouth. That isn’t Tessa. My whole body goes cold. I have to run. I leap out of the chair, and it falls over. The door’s right there. I can shut it behind me and jam something over the basement door. It’s locked. It locked the door. Something grabs my leg, and an arm, and I drop to the ground, slamming my head into the concrete. I let out a scream from the terror and the pain as it drags me across the ground, lifts me cleanly into the air, and sits me back in the chair. And now I see it in full. There’s a shape that looks like Tessa, but behind it is an impossibly large mass of metal and flesh, curling and writhing in the air. Two insect-like claws are gripping me. “Oh, another injury. I-I’ll just have to f-fix that, too,” it delights. Tessa was never here, was she? “But first…” A third claw reaches out from the back of the Tessa-thing, and presses strongly into the back of my head. I don’t get a moment to think of anything before it all goes black again.
cyn - memory bank recall : diary entry 01 "copper 9"
3071 – Outpost 3, Copper 9
<--- note: N is referred to in this using she/her pronouns, which she didn't use at the time but i felt it was right to do because she does now :3 ---> A worker drone stands before me, holding my heart in her hand. I recognise her face, but I haven’t seen it with my eyes before. She could kill me right now, but that’s alright. I’ve been through enough. At least, in my last moments, I could see the world through my sensors again. She looks right through me. Studies something on my face. There’s a flash of light, and the universe stops. My body still doesn’t move for me. It lurches forward with horrible intent, mouth agape and hands grasping. But the eyes are mine. I know it. She rejects its desires. The solver is hers now. I’m free. She looks me in the eye again. Properly, this time. Light returns to the world. Everything goes limp, and the world swirls as I drop. I close my eyes and accept my fate at last. The feeling of the air whooshing against my sensors, arms flailing, gyroscope freaking – I should be terrified but the knowledge that my body is once again mine is too much. I’m heading for the ground. This is it. Yet, for the first time in years, I awaken. I’m battered, bent, dented, but somehow, I’m alive. There’s snow around me. It’s cold. There’s that girl again. Beanie. Purple hair. Hot topic. She’s waking up as well. Her fingers twitch. The wind blows. A breath violently escapes from her fans. She wastes no time in getting up. She doesn’t notice me. She sees the same distant movement as I do. Two figures heading our way. I’d recognise them anywhere. I can’t let them see me. Not like this. I can barely look at myself. I turn and claw my way through the snow. My legs aren’t working right. Thank god, I’m back to normal. An excitable, unmistakable voice screams with delight amongst the falling snow. “Uzi!”, N shrieks. I wish I could turn back. I wish I could be with him again. But they won’t accept me for what the solver did using my face. And hers. V is there too. I can’t make out what she says, but it’s her, alright. Finally, I’m out of the way. I try prop myself up, and slump against a wall of debris. I look down at my hands. And at her hands, too. That girl, the only one who ever took care of me, stretched out taught over my frame like a drum. I begin to cry, as much as a robot can, but bringing my hands to my eyes just shows in more detail what has become of her. I never quite saw what happened to her. I know the solver stole her. Robbed her of her soul and masqueraded as her. But that was when I was but a speck of dust, curled up in a corner of the dark room of my mind. The screen was dim and too far away for me to view, just like it wanted. I decide to close my eyes. I can’t let myself view what I’ve become. The twisted mess the solver left me as. A hunk of metal in human skin. Unlovable. Unforgivable. The wind picks up again. I’m shielded from the breeze. I focus on the noise, but not for long. It’s all been too much. I can’t process anything properly. Thoughts spray through my mind like the wind. Why am I alive? Why didn’t ‘Uzi’ kill me without a second thought? I don’t deserve to be here. Footsteps crunch nearby. It must be them. Why did they follow me? I’m of no importance. I’m whimpering when the footsteps stop close by. I don’t care. If they didn’t kill me then, they can do it now. I’ve been given enough time in my body again. “She’s… still alive!” V shouts, angrily. I hear her weaponry form. “You just don’t know when to give up, do you?!” An unfamiliar voice joins in. That must be Uzi. I don’t blame her. Another pair of footsteps rushes in. “Wait! God, please, just wait!” N screams desperately. She doesn’t… know, does she? “…Cyn?” she asks. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. I clutch my hands to my head, but it grips hair and not metal and I curl up tighter. The footsteps get closer. They’re slow and careful. They stop beside me. There’s a different crunch of snow, and someone puts an arm around me. “…It’s… it’s really you, isn’t it?” Her voice is warm. She knows. Oh, god, she knows. I can barely let out any noise. I turn myself away, and I feel the skin on my back slip under her arm. I cry again. “You don’t… you don’t have to see this…” I whisper, tonally. That’s my broken voice processor again. I’ve missed you. She doesn’t say anything in response, but embraces me fully. Against my instincts, I prize open my eyes and see her looking right back at me. She’s smiling. “I’m… so sorry… big sister…” Uzi whispers, harshly. “She’s –”
“She’s not who you think she is, Uzi. Please…” She responds, weakly. “She’s not our enemy anymore. She’s just… hurt.” I glance over at Uzi and V. They’re still on edge. I don’t think I want to die anymore. I’m with N again. He understands. “Uzi… go find your dad. I’m sure he’s looking for you.” N instructs her. “But you –”
“Uzi…!” She releases her grasp on me, and shuffles over to her. I close my eyes again. “…Please…?” I can feel her gaze on me. Studying me again. “I don’t want to leave you alone with…” she pauses. “It could still be dangerous.”
“Trust me, she’d never hurt a fly. Not her.”
“Didn’t you see what she just did?!”
“That wasn’t her! That was the solver, Uzi!” She retorts. She chokes on her words. I open my eyes again, careful to not look at any of myself. Even though I can’t focus on anything, V looks into my eyes. She understands now, too. She drops to her knees. “Oh. Oh my god. N, she’s… that’s…” V mumbles. “I know, V. It’s our little sister.” Uzi looks at her, looks at me, looks back at her, and looks back at me. “I’ll… give you some space. See you soon? Meet at the gate?” Uzi admits. N nods. Uzi hugs her, burying her head in her waist. I get it now. A pair of wings sprout from her back. I think I see a tail, too. It reminds me of a distant memory. She’s gone. I turn back to the snow in front of me, red and bloody from – I close my eyes again. I hear N come and sit beside me again. She doesn’t hug me this time. She’s giving me space. “I’m here, Cyn. Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”
We sit there for some time. V eventually gets up from her dissociation, and flies elsewhere, bidding N goodbye. She stays with me. Eventually I break the silence. “I… I’m so sorry for…” I can’t finish my sentence. “I don’t want to open my eyes, N. I don’t want to see her like this.”
“Me neither. It’s… it’s hard. Really hard. But… I need to be here with you. Someone needs to. I can’t just leave you alone.” Silence again. “Look, you… you can’t stay here forever, Cyn. We can head back to the outpost.”
“I… I don’t want anyone to…” Something soft and flowing lands on me. It’s warm. She wraps it around me. Her coat. “We’ll just keep you distant for now, until we get everything sorted. OK?” She grips my hand tightly, tenderly. I don’t want to move, but I’m cold, and I don’t want to stay here either. She helps lift me up, and makes sure I’m covered tightly. Her coat envelops me completely. If I were walking, I’d surely trip over. “Alright, up we go. Tug on me if you want me to stop, OK?” She offers, before spreading her wings. Flight is a strange feeling. It freaks me out now, but in the moment, I just didn’t understand what was happening. She took it easy. No sudden movements. A very smooth flight. Rare for her, as I know now. I peek out the darkness of the coat, and see trees and buildings whizzing by at incredible speeds. Wind blows her hair around, and the loose skin makes awful noises. Back into the coat I go. Eventually, she puts me down, and helps me sit. It’s still cold, but she says she won’t be long. Sensors half-closed, I watch the N-shaped blur pace into the distance, towards a big grey something. A building, I guess. A few robots walk past, heading into the building. They’re loud, so I cower under the fabric more. The darkness reminds me of the solver, of it trapping me away, of that horrid night when it brutalised Tessa. She didn’t even stand a chance, and I had to watch. For once, it forced me to watch. Every cut, every trim, every puncture. It physically wouldn’t let me look away. It forced its way in. For a few minutes, she was alive as it began to use her. It began with the arms. The process lasted far too long, but at the same time it went by in the blink of an eye. At least, I don’t remember all of it. That’s probably for the best. As soon as the solver felt me beginning to give in, it sent me into the darkness. I stayed there for… I don’t know how long. Thank god it’s over. Someone touches me on the shoulder, and it makes me jump. “Cyn! You alright? You’re shaking…” It’s N, back from whatever she was up to. “I was calling out but you didn’t hear… Is it too cold? Let’s bring you inside, OK? There’s a repairs bay we can take you to.” I want to say I’m just fine, but that’s very much not true. I lift up my arm, and she grabs it, still hidden entirely in the jacket. I can feel the sleeve droop lazily over my fingers. She leads me inside the building, slowly. There’s another person walking with us – it could be Uzi or V, I can’t tell. It’s an arduous walk with my limp, but soon I notice I’m on solid ground. I hear an enormous clunk as something closes behind me, and everything is suddenly much warmer. It feels cosy in here, even though I still have my eyes closed. A distinct background noise of… living. People going about their business, somewhere else. “Better, hey? It’s alright, just a bit further,” N reassures me. If anything, it feels like we’re back home, at the mansion. She’d guide me anywhere, and make sure I had something stable near me. She suggested crutches at one point, but by the time I wanted to consider them, the solver had already taken over most of my movement anyway. From then, the limp was just about keeping up appearances. When it was alone, it “fixed” it. “Fixed” me, it would say. Make me walk normal, stand upright, everything that helped it and hurt me. My motors were never meant to do that. Factory defect, or something. Somehow, the laws of physics just didn’t matter to it. It could go beyond that. It’s confusing. My head hurts. “You’re sure that n-no-one can see me?”
“Trust me, you’re a big walking jacket. A bit strange, sure, but no, nobody can see anything. You’re safe, I promise.” I have to stop walking for a bit. “OK, OK, let’s take a minute. Hang on, let’s sit down…” She assists, and helps me over to a chair of some sort. I think she’s sitting on the floor. “You… don’t want to say much, do you?” She asks. I lower my head a bit, unable to react properly. “I… can’t imagine what you’ve been through. I’m so sorry I couldn’t help, that I couldn’t see it earlier… Maybe I would have been able to do something…” She laments. “There’s… nothing you could h-have done,” I reply. “If you had tried to, it would have just… killed…” I can’t finish the sentence. N puts her hand on my back, comfortingly, but takes it off quickly remembering what’s between me and the coat. Some footsteps come clunking down the hallway. It’s Uzi, I think, judging by how fast N stood. “N! I…” Uzi pauses. “Why’s your jacket… Wait, y-you brought it here?”
“She’s alright, Uzi, she just needs some time.” “I… I don’t know,” she replied, shakily. Clearly, the solver had been responsible for something awful for her, too. It hurts knowing it used my face and voice for everything it did. “What are you gonna do with… her?”
“I’m taking her to repairs, asked one of the door guards where it was. Then… I’ll try sort it out.”
“Sort it out?”
“…Get all the… bits off of her.”
“…Are you OK?” N stopped. “Tessa meant a lot to you, didn’t she?” Uzi asked, softly. “You sure you can –”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she mumbled. “I- I’ll do it.”
“You don’t have to, you know that, right? V can do it, right? You could –”
“Please, I…” I hear the soft sound of two pairs of metal hands sliding together. She’s not coping. She sounded alright, but with my eyes closed I couldn’t see her expression. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was barely keeping it together this whole time.
I think I must have passed out, or maybe I simply fell asleep. When I woke up, I was laying on a flat, metal surface in an unfamiliar room. My ears are ringing, and I can make out the familiar voices of N and V, but there's two other voices I haven't heard before. “…have to… help her… remove all the… she's hurt, OK?!” N’s voice yells, but it's muffled and far away. “We've never done anything like… this before… not sure if we can…" One of the other voices replied. This must be the repair bay. Those must be the doctors. Are they called doctors for drones? I only know of human doctors. I'm starting to hear better, because I hear an emotional V threaten them. “Look, if you don't at least try get her out I'll bite your stupid heads off!” She's loud, but clearly as shaken and upset as N. I'm fading in and out of consciousness again. I hear them walk over near me. “Didn't you say you just needed our facilities? You said you'd handle it!”
“I can't!” N shouts, and I hear her drop to her knees. “I… I thought I could, but… she's my sister, OK? And the… the stuff on top is… someone who means a lot to all of us… It's already so much seeing them both like this…” After a moment, one of the doctors sighs, and I can see them standing with their back to me, at my feet. “We'll… we'll see what we can do, OK?”
“If you so much as cut a single wire of hers, if she doesn't get back up-”
“You'll eat us, yes, yes. I… Well, we need some space. We'll give her a chip to make her run slower so she doesn't wake up during the repair – I guess you could even call it a surgery – and we'll let you know when it's done, alright? You have to both go sit in the main room.” N gets up from her knees, and I see her slowly walk over to me, too. She almost sees me with my eyes open, but I shut them just before she could notice I've heard the entire thing. She places her hand on my shoulder. “It's… going to be alright, Cyn, you'll be free soon.” She strokes my arm gently. “Please, other room, you two. The sooner we start, the sooner it's over.” Eventually, I hear my brother and sister leave with heavy footsteps. One of the doctors sighs again. “Have you ever seen a situation like this before?” “Nope. Can't say I have. How the hell are we meant to do this?” “I didn't even have to read any of the human anatomy parts of the textbooks, they got us to skip over that. I mean, it makes sense considering they all froze to death, but… God, now I wish I got that extra credit.” “Let’s just start with what we know, alright? Get the chip. We have to put her under anyway.” One of them wanders off into another room, and comes back a few moments later. “Right, uh, I'll just…” He paused for a moment. “Y-you’re awake?” I motion with my head just enough to let them know I heard them. “W-well, uh, I'm going to have to place this on the back of your head, alright? It's to put you under while we fix you up.” I nod slowly, and he helps me roll onto my side. He tries to move my hair out of the way, before realising it's not mine. I hear him scratch his chin. “…Just a second.” He steps away, then walks back. I hear something cut behind me, and it's an awful noise I never wish I could hear again. The cutting of skin, of flesh. I tense up, and he notices, but I don't think he gets why. “H-hey, just one more thing. Hold still…” There's a small metallic clink, and I feel a radiance from the back of my head. That must be the chip working. Everything slows, and I'm gone again.
I have a horrid dream. I remember things from when I was not present but the solver was, like watching a recording from my eyes as cameras. I remember it doing things with Tessa. As Tessa. Pretending to go about its day like it was her. It made itself breakfast. It made tea. All with the husk of her draped over my frame. Did it enjoy it? Perhaps not even from a torturous, twisted way of messing with me – did it want to be human? Even the memories of once it landed on Copper 9 – I remember it smiling genuinely, walking around as her and experiencing things like that. I don't think it realised that a human would have frozen almost immediately upon setting foot on the planet. Or it just didn't care. It… enjoyed itself. It would tell me so. I thought it was just taunting me as always, but… maybe it was a true expression of happiness. Was the reason it became her solely to lose me, or was there more to it after all? Maybe, if things were different, it could have had its way, and nobody would have gotten hurt. If it weren't so destructive. I know there were humans who wished to be robots but… a cosmic AI wishing it were human… it's fascinating. Eventually, my mind begins to wander back to the memories of living on Earth, before all of this. Back when I had no idea what a solver was, back when it hadn't yet introduced itself into my mind. I'm sitting on a rough carpet in an ornate room, warmly lit. Tessa is there, sitting at the grand piano in the centre, while I look on from the corner, fascinated. Every day she's meant to practice for hours on whatever piece her personal tutor assigns to her this week, and she always does so begrudgingly, unable to tell her parents that she actually doesn't really like the piano. She says she hates playing “scales” the worst. I know very little about it all, but it's very interesting. I decide to shuffle closer. “I dunno, Cyn, I just can't keep this up. My fingers hurt,” Tessa admits, noticing me standing next to her seat. “I don't think they should be doing that. You should rest,” I try to comfort her as best I can with my broken voice. “I wanna, but if mum and dad – I mean, mother and father – realise I've been slacking off I'll be grounded again.” She over-accentuates the vowels mockingly. It makes me laugh a little. “You could get a drink or something?” I suggest. “That might work. Stay right there, I'll be back,” she says, practically launching herself out of the seat, and walking briskly to the kitchen, I assume. Now I'm left alone with the piano. When she comes back with a glass, she finds me sitting at the stool instead. “Oh! You… wanna have a try?” I nod, slightly embarrassed. “Great! I can rest for a bit,” she says, and flops onto one of the several couches in the room, nearly spilling her water. I poke at the keys randomly until Tessa reaches from over my shoulder. “So, this note here is called Middle C. And then all the white keys are up from that alphabetically. U- until here, that's A, then B, then back to C,” she says, pointing at some of the keys. I don't say anything, just nodding and taking it in. I touch each of those keys, from C to C, in a row, with one of my fingers. It sounds pleasant. “OK, that's a C major scale.”
“I thought you hated those,”
“C is the easiest one, it's not so bad. Once you get to the other ones though it gets annoying real quick,” she smiles, slouching more, then fixing her posture a touch in case somehow her parents were watching. “What are the black notes?”
“Just more notes in between the white ones. That one's C sharp. Or D flat, depending on how you feel or something. It's all the same ratio between the notes, 12 in total, but usually there's only 7 in a scale before you get back to the start.” She sounds almost out of breath. “Why do you know so much about all of this if you don't like playing it?” She laughs. “I mean, I do like it, it sounds great if I can actually play something on it, it's just so much rigid practice and… discipline.” She shudders at the word, curling her hands in disgust. “No, I'd much rather just be left to my own devices and play whatever I want to.”
“Oh,” I nod. “You do hate discipline.”
“Infamously,” she laughs, walking over to the couch again. “Try playing groups of three of the white notes, you'll find some interesting sounds really quick,” she suggests. Eventually, it's like she's giving me lessons, and apparently I'm a fast learner. She gets to explaining what the differences are between major and minor chords and the patterns in the scales, but then her alarm goes off and practice is over for the day.
Startlingly, I find myself face up in a dimly lit white room. The memories fade and I'm back to the present. I can barely move, my vision's hazy, and trying to adjust my position makes my hand slip from the weakness. Eventually I'm sitting up a touch, and can barely make out the rest of the room. V is asleep in a chair across from me, and N’s asleep in one next to me, clutching Uzi. Those two must be inseparable. It must be night outside – there's no light through what I assume is the window, and I can't hear anyone moving around nearby like earlier. I take a deep breath. It's strained, but not like before. …Before? I look down at my hands. My hands. My body. I'm trembling. V, always being a light sleeper, opens her eyes slowly and sees me staring at myself. She moves slowly, then quickly gets up and shakes N awake, with Uzi following. “O- oh my god. C- Cyn?” She says, softly, nervously. I look into her eyes. She towers over me. It's hard to forget how the solver affected her, J, and N too. “V…” I whimper, looking around, “N… my hands…” I flex my fingers and turn my wrists. “Did they do something wrong?!” V almost growls, worriedly, grabbing and inspecting my hands in a panic. “No, they're just… my hands… they're just my hands…” I use one of them to poke V in the cheek, and I smile a bit. She tries to bat it away, but stops herself from thinking it's any danger, and almost smiles back. She can't bring herself to make eye contact with me, but that's OK. I've got time, now. N kneels next to my head, and also can't quite bring herself to look at me properly. “I've… really missed you, Cyn,” she murmurs. “Y… you're safe now. You're free.” I'm… free. There's no other voice in my head. It's just me in here for the first time in who knows how long. “I- I'll go tell one of the nurses,” Uzi says, standing a bit farther away. N nods, and she walks out of the room. “How do you feel?” N asks. “Normal,” I respond, which might have been a terrible idea in hindsight. That's exactly what the solver would have wanted me to say, but it's true. I do just feel… normal again. At least, as normal as I used to be, which wasn't much. “I'm… I'm really sorry -” I begin, but V stops me. “No, don't- don't say that. You're… it… it wasn't your fault…?” V says, carefully. Maybe she and N have had a conversation about what to say to me. It feels rehearsed. She stands suddenly and turns away, putting her head in her hands. “I just… why did it have to use her, N? Her voice, it's… I can only hear it as…” she trails off. “I don't think there was any reason, V, it just… we just got unlucky. All of us.” She's talking to her but still looking at me. “Just… think about her now. And how things used to be. How we all used to be.”
“I c- can't… It's… you don't understand, N, you don't remember… it's easy for you to ignore the… horror, isn't it?” N falls silent, and isn't looking at anything in particular anymore. I decide to say something. “I- I remember all of it… it's…” I'm clutching my head all of a sudden, this must all be too much after waking up. Uzi walks back in with another drone. N puts her hand on my arm, reassuringly. “It's alright, it's alright, take it easy,” she says soothingly, “you probably need to rest more. It's a lot for now.” I move my hand from my forehead, and see bits of something on my fingers. Blotches. Dark blotches. I start panicking. It could be oil from inside of me, it could be some sort of residue left from her – both are equally as frightening. The other drone wipes my hand with a towel, then my forehead. I can't make out what it was, but the towel is now stained a dark reddish brown. “She's right,” they say, “you should sleep more. You'll feel better after a proper rest, now that the chip's worn off. Just breathe easy, OK?” They speak authoritatively, but calmly. It's very easy to close my eyes now, so I do, and shuffle back down the bed a little, trying to somehow get comfy on this clean and sterile mattress. “You should give her some space. You know she's alright now. You probably all need rest too. It's been almost all night you've been here.” N sighs. “Y- yeah, the chairs here aren't that comfy anyway,” she says, livening up a little, but she might just be feigning it.
CONTENT WARNING -- Spoilers for Murder Drones
<--- note: N is referred to in this using she/her pronouns, which she didn't use at the time but i felt it was right to do because she does now :3 ---> A worker drone stands before me, holding my heart in her hand. I recognise her face, but I haven’t seen it with my eyes before. She could kill me right now, but that’s alright. I’ve been through enough. At least, in my last moments, I could see the world through my sensors again. She looks right through me. Studies something on my face. There’s a flash of light, and the universe stops. My body still doesn’t move for me. It lurches forward with horrible intent, mouth agape and hands grasping. But the eyes are mine. I know it. She rejects its desires. The solver is hers now. I’m free. She looks me in the eye again. Properly, this time. Light returns to the world. Everything goes limp, and the world swirls as I drop. I close my eyes and accept my fate at last. The feeling of the air whooshing against my sensors, arms flailing, gyroscope freaking – I should be terrified but the knowledge that my body is once again mine is too much. I’m heading for the ground. This is it. Yet, for the first time in years, I awaken. I’m battered, bent, dented, but somehow, I’m alive. There’s snow around me. It’s cold. There’s that girl again. Beanie. Purple hair. Hot topic. She’s waking up as well. Her fingers twitch. The wind blows. A breath violently escapes from her fans. She wastes no time in getting up. She doesn’t notice me. She sees the same distant movement as I do. Two figures heading our way. I’d recognise them anywhere. I can’t let them see me. Not like this. I can barely look at myself. I turn and claw my way through the snow. My legs aren’t working right. Thank god, I’m back to normal. An excitable, unmistakable voice screams with delight amongst the falling snow. “Uzi!”, N shrieks. I wish I could turn back. I wish I could be with him again. But they won’t accept me for what the solver did using my face. And hers. V is there too. I can’t make out what she says, but it’s her, alright. Finally, I’m out of the way. I try prop myself up, and slump against a wall of debris. I look down at my hands. And at her hands, too. That girl, the only one who ever took care of me, stretched out taught over my frame like a drum. I begin to cry, as much as a robot can, but bringing my hands to my eyes just shows in more detail what has become of her. I never quite saw what happened to her. I know the solver stole her. Robbed her of her soul and masqueraded as her. But that was when I was but a speck of dust, curled up in a corner of the dark room of my mind. The screen was dim and too far away for me to view, just like it wanted. I decide to close my eyes. I can’t let myself view what I’ve become. The twisted mess the solver left me as. A hunk of metal in human skin. Unlovable. Unforgivable. The wind picks up again. I’m shielded from the breeze. I focus on the noise, but not for long. It’s all been too much. I can’t process anything properly. Thoughts spray through my mind like the wind. Why am I alive? Why didn’t ‘Uzi’ kill me without a second thought? I don’t deserve to be here. Footsteps crunch nearby. It must be them. Why did they follow me? I’m of no importance. I’m whimpering when the footsteps stop close by. I don’t care. If they didn’t kill me then, they can do it now. I’ve been given enough time in my body again. “She’s… still alive!” V shouts, angrily. I hear her weaponry form. “You just don’t know when to give up, do you?!” An unfamiliar voice joins in. That must be Uzi. I don’t blame her. Another pair of footsteps rushes in. “Wait! God, please, just wait!” N screams desperately. She doesn’t… know, does she? “…Cyn?” she asks. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. I clutch my hands to my head, but it grips hair and not metal and I curl up tighter. The footsteps get closer. They’re slow and careful. They stop beside me. There’s a different crunch of snow, and someone puts an arm around me. “…It’s… it’s really you, isn’t it?” Her voice is warm. She knows. Oh, god, she knows. I can barely let out any noise. I turn myself away, and I feel the skin on my back slip under her arm. I cry again. “You don’t… you don’t have to see this…” I whisper, tonally. That’s my broken voice processor again. I’ve missed you. She doesn’t say anything in response, but embraces me fully. Against my instincts, I prize open my eyes and see her looking right back at me. She’s smiling. “I’m… so sorry… big sister…” Uzi whispers, harshly. “She’s –”
“She’s not who you think she is, Uzi. Please…” She responds, weakly. “She’s not our enemy anymore. She’s just… hurt.” I glance over at Uzi and V. They’re still on edge. I don’t think I want to die anymore. I’m with N again. He understands. “Uzi… go find your dad. I’m sure he’s looking for you.” N instructs her. “But you –”
“Uzi…!” She releases her grasp on me, and shuffles over to her. I close my eyes again. “…Please…?” I can feel her gaze on me. Studying me again. “I don’t want to leave you alone with…” she pauses. “It could still be dangerous.”
“Trust me, she’d never hurt a fly. Not her.”
“Didn’t you see what she just did?!”
“That wasn’t her! That was the solver, Uzi!” She retorts. She chokes on her words. I open my eyes again, careful to not look at any of myself. Even though I can’t focus on anything, V looks into my eyes. She understands now, too. She drops to her knees. “Oh. Oh my god. N, she’s… that’s…” V mumbles. “I know, V. It’s our little sister.” Uzi looks at her, looks at me, looks back at her, and looks back at me. “I’ll… give you some space. See you soon? Meet at the gate?” Uzi admits. N nods. Uzi hugs her, burying her head in her waist. I get it now. A pair of wings sprout from her back. I think I see a tail, too. It reminds me of a distant memory. She’s gone. I turn back to the snow in front of me, red and bloody from – I close my eyes again. I hear N come and sit beside me again. She doesn’t hug me this time. She’s giving me space. “I’m here, Cyn. Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”
We sit there for some time. V eventually gets up from her dissociation, and flies elsewhere, bidding N goodbye. She stays with me. Eventually I break the silence. “I… I’m so sorry for…” I can’t finish my sentence. “I don’t want to open my eyes, N. I don’t want to see her like this.”
“Me neither. It’s… it’s hard. Really hard. But… I need to be here with you. Someone needs to. I can’t just leave you alone.” Silence again. “Look, you… you can’t stay here forever, Cyn. We can head back to the outpost.”
“I… I don’t want anyone to…” Something soft and flowing lands on me. It’s warm. She wraps it around me. Her coat. “We’ll just keep you distant for now, until we get everything sorted. OK?” She grips my hand tightly, tenderly. I don’t want to move, but I’m cold, and I don’t want to stay here either. She helps lift me up, and makes sure I’m covered tightly. Her coat envelops me completely. If I were walking, I’d surely trip over. “Alright, up we go. Tug on me if you want me to stop, OK?” She offers, before spreading her wings. Flight is a strange feeling. It freaks me out now, but in the moment, I just didn’t understand what was happening. She took it easy. No sudden movements. A very smooth flight. Rare for her, as I know now. I peek out the darkness of the coat, and see trees and buildings whizzing by at incredible speeds. Wind blows her hair around, and the loose skin makes awful noises. Back into the coat I go. Eventually, she puts me down, and helps me sit. It’s still cold, but she says she won’t be long. Sensors half-closed, I watch the N-shaped blur pace into the distance, towards a big grey something. A building, I guess. A few robots walk past, heading into the building. They’re loud, so I cower under the fabric more. The darkness reminds me of the solver, of it trapping me away, of that horrid night when it brutalised Tessa. She didn’t even stand a chance, and I had to watch. For once, it forced me to watch. Every cut, every trim, every puncture. It physically wouldn’t let me look away. It forced its way in. For a few minutes, she was alive as it began to use her. It began with the arms. The process lasted far too long, but at the same time it went by in the blink of an eye. At least, I don’t remember all of it. That’s probably for the best. As soon as the solver felt me beginning to give in, it sent me into the darkness. I stayed there for… I don’t know how long. Thank god it’s over. Someone touches me on the shoulder, and it makes me jump. “Cyn! You alright? You’re shaking…” It’s N, back from whatever she was up to. “I was calling out but you didn’t hear… Is it too cold? Let’s bring you inside, OK? There’s a repairs bay we can take you to.” I want to say I’m just fine, but that’s very much not true. I lift up my arm, and she grabs it, still hidden entirely in the jacket. I can feel the sleeve droop lazily over my fingers. She leads me inside the building, slowly. There’s another person walking with us – it could be Uzi or V, I can’t tell. It’s an arduous walk with my limp, but soon I notice I’m on solid ground. I hear an enormous clunk as something closes behind me, and everything is suddenly much warmer. It feels cosy in here, even though I still have my eyes closed. A distinct background noise of… living. People going about their business, somewhere else. “Better, hey? It’s alright, just a bit further,” N reassures me. If anything, it feels like we’re back home, at the mansion. She’d guide me anywhere, and make sure I had something stable near me. She suggested crutches at one point, but by the time I wanted to consider them, the solver had already taken over most of my movement anyway. From then, the limp was just about keeping up appearances. When it was alone, it “fixed” it. “Fixed” me, it would say. Make me walk normal, stand upright, everything that helped it and hurt me. My motors were never meant to do that. Factory defect, or something. Somehow, the laws of physics just didn’t matter to it. It could go beyond that. It’s confusing. My head hurts. “You’re sure that n-no-one can see me?”
“Trust me, you’re a big walking jacket. A bit strange, sure, but no, nobody can see anything. You’re safe, I promise.” I have to stop walking for a bit. “OK, OK, let’s take a minute. Hang on, let’s sit down…” She assists, and helps me over to a chair of some sort. I think she’s sitting on the floor. “You… don’t want to say much, do you?” She asks. I lower my head a bit, unable to react properly. “I… can’t imagine what you’ve been through. I’m so sorry I couldn’t help, that I couldn’t see it earlier… Maybe I would have been able to do something…” She laments. “There’s… nothing you could h-have done,” I reply. “If you had tried to, it would have just… killed…” I can’t finish the sentence. N puts her hand on my back, comfortingly, but takes it off quickly remembering what’s between me and the coat. Some footsteps come clunking down the hallway. It’s Uzi, I think, judging by how fast N stood. “N! I…” Uzi pauses. “Why’s your jacket… Wait, y-you brought it here?”
“She’s alright, Uzi, she just needs some time.” “I… I don’t know,” she replied, shakily. Clearly, the solver had been responsible for something awful for her, too. It hurts knowing it used my face and voice for everything it did. “What are you gonna do with… her?”
“I’m taking her to repairs, asked one of the door guards where it was. Then… I’ll try sort it out.”
“Sort it out?”
“…Get all the… bits off of her.”
“…Are you OK?” N stopped. “Tessa meant a lot to you, didn’t she?” Uzi asked, softly. “You sure you can –”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she mumbled. “I- I’ll do it.”
“You don’t have to, you know that, right? V can do it, right? You could –”
“Please, I…” I hear the soft sound of two pairs of metal hands sliding together. She’s not coping. She sounded alright, but with my eyes closed I couldn’t see her expression. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was barely keeping it together this whole time.
I think I must have passed out, or maybe I simply fell asleep. When I woke up, I was laying on a flat, metal surface in an unfamiliar room. My ears are ringing, and I can make out the familiar voices of N and V, but there's two other voices I haven't heard before. “…have to… help her… remove all the… she's hurt, OK?!” N’s voice yells, but it's muffled and far away. “We've never done anything like… this before… not sure if we can…" One of the other voices replied. This must be the repair bay. Those must be the doctors. Are they called doctors for drones? I only know of human doctors. I'm starting to hear better, because I hear an emotional V threaten them. “Look, if you don't at least try get her out I'll bite your stupid heads off!” She's loud, but clearly as shaken and upset as N. I'm fading in and out of consciousness again. I hear them walk over near me. “Didn't you say you just needed our facilities? You said you'd handle it!”
“I can't!” N shouts, and I hear her drop to her knees. “I… I thought I could, but… she's my sister, OK? And the… the stuff on top is… someone who means a lot to all of us… It's already so much seeing them both like this…” After a moment, one of the doctors sighs, and I can see them standing with their back to me, at my feet. “We'll… we'll see what we can do, OK?”
“If you so much as cut a single wire of hers, if she doesn't get back up-”
“You'll eat us, yes, yes. I… Well, we need some space. We'll give her a chip to make her run slower so she doesn't wake up during the repair – I guess you could even call it a surgery – and we'll let you know when it's done, alright? You have to both go sit in the main room.” N gets up from her knees, and I see her slowly walk over to me, too. She almost sees me with my eyes open, but I shut them just before she could notice I've heard the entire thing. She places her hand on my shoulder. “It's… going to be alright, Cyn, you'll be free soon.” She strokes my arm gently. “Please, other room, you two. The sooner we start, the sooner it's over.” Eventually, I hear my brother and sister leave with heavy footsteps. One of the doctors sighs again. “Have you ever seen a situation like this before?” “Nope. Can't say I have. How the hell are we meant to do this?” “I didn't even have to read any of the human anatomy parts of the textbooks, they got us to skip over that. I mean, it makes sense considering they all froze to death, but… God, now I wish I got that extra credit.” “Let’s just start with what we know, alright? Get the chip. We have to put her under anyway.” One of them wanders off into another room, and comes back a few moments later. “Right, uh, I'll just…” He paused for a moment. “Y-you’re awake?” I motion with my head just enough to let them know I heard them. “W-well, uh, I'm going to have to place this on the back of your head, alright? It's to put you under while we fix you up.” I nod slowly, and he helps me roll onto my side. He tries to move my hair out of the way, before realising it's not mine. I hear him scratch his chin. “…Just a second.” He steps away, then walks back. I hear something cut behind me, and it's an awful noise I never wish I could hear again. The cutting of skin, of flesh. I tense up, and he notices, but I don't think he gets why. “H-hey, just one more thing. Hold still…” There's a small metallic clink, and I feel a radiance from the back of my head. That must be the chip working. Everything slows, and I'm gone again.
I have a horrid dream. I remember things from when I was not present but the solver was, like watching a recording from my eyes as cameras. I remember it doing things with Tessa. As Tessa. Pretending to go about its day like it was her. It made itself breakfast. It made tea. All with the husk of her draped over my frame. Did it enjoy it? Perhaps not even from a torturous, twisted way of messing with me – did it want to be human? Even the memories of once it landed on Copper 9 – I remember it smiling genuinely, walking around as her and experiencing things like that. I don't think it realised that a human would have frozen almost immediately upon setting foot on the planet. Or it just didn't care. It… enjoyed itself. It would tell me so. I thought it was just taunting me as always, but… maybe it was a true expression of happiness. Was the reason it became her solely to lose me, or was there more to it after all? Maybe, if things were different, it could have had its way, and nobody would have gotten hurt. If it weren't so destructive. I know there were humans who wished to be robots but… a cosmic AI wishing it were human… it's fascinating. Eventually, my mind begins to wander back to the memories of living on Earth, before all of this. Back when I had no idea what a solver was, back when it hadn't yet introduced itself into my mind. I'm sitting on a rough carpet in an ornate room, warmly lit. Tessa is there, sitting at the grand piano in the centre, while I look on from the corner, fascinated. Every day she's meant to practice for hours on whatever piece her personal tutor assigns to her this week, and she always does so begrudgingly, unable to tell her parents that she actually doesn't really like the piano. She says she hates playing “scales” the worst. I know very little about it all, but it's very interesting. I decide to shuffle closer. “I dunno, Cyn, I just can't keep this up. My fingers hurt,” Tessa admits, noticing me standing next to her seat. “I don't think they should be doing that. You should rest,” I try to comfort her as best I can with my broken voice. “I wanna, but if mum and dad – I mean, mother and father – realise I've been slacking off I'll be grounded again.” She over-accentuates the vowels mockingly. It makes me laugh a little. “You could get a drink or something?” I suggest. “That might work. Stay right there, I'll be back,” she says, practically launching herself out of the seat, and walking briskly to the kitchen, I assume. Now I'm left alone with the piano. When she comes back with a glass, she finds me sitting at the stool instead. “Oh! You… wanna have a try?” I nod, slightly embarrassed. “Great! I can rest for a bit,” she says, and flops onto one of the several couches in the room, nearly spilling her water. I poke at the keys randomly until Tessa reaches from over my shoulder. “So, this note here is called Middle C. And then all the white keys are up from that alphabetically. U- until here, that's A, then B, then back to C,” she says, pointing at some of the keys. I don't say anything, just nodding and taking it in. I touch each of those keys, from C to C, in a row, with one of my fingers. It sounds pleasant. “OK, that's a C major scale.”
“I thought you hated those,”
“C is the easiest one, it's not so bad. Once you get to the other ones though it gets annoying real quick,” she smiles, slouching more, then fixing her posture a touch in case somehow her parents were watching. “What are the black notes?”
“Just more notes in between the white ones. That one's C sharp. Or D flat, depending on how you feel or something. It's all the same ratio between the notes, 12 in total, but usually there's only 7 in a scale before you get back to the start.” She sounds almost out of breath. “Why do you know so much about all of this if you don't like playing it?” She laughs. “I mean, I do like it, it sounds great if I can actually play something on it, it's just so much rigid practice and… discipline.” She shudders at the word, curling her hands in disgust. “No, I'd much rather just be left to my own devices and play whatever I want to.”
“Oh,” I nod. “You do hate discipline.”
“Infamously,” she laughs, walking over to the couch again. “Try playing groups of three of the white notes, you'll find some interesting sounds really quick,” she suggests. Eventually, it's like she's giving me lessons, and apparently I'm a fast learner. She gets to explaining what the differences are between major and minor chords and the patterns in the scales, but then her alarm goes off and practice is over for the day.
Startlingly, I find myself face up in a dimly lit white room. The memories fade and I'm back to the present. I can barely move, my vision's hazy, and trying to adjust my position makes my hand slip from the weakness. Eventually I'm sitting up a touch, and can barely make out the rest of the room. V is asleep in a chair across from me, and N’s asleep in one next to me, clutching Uzi. Those two must be inseparable. It must be night outside – there's no light through what I assume is the window, and I can't hear anyone moving around nearby like earlier. I take a deep breath. It's strained, but not like before. …Before? I look down at my hands. My hands. My body. I'm trembling. V, always being a light sleeper, opens her eyes slowly and sees me staring at myself. She moves slowly, then quickly gets up and shakes N awake, with Uzi following. “O- oh my god. C- Cyn?” She says, softly, nervously. I look into her eyes. She towers over me. It's hard to forget how the solver affected her, J, and N too. “V…” I whimper, looking around, “N… my hands…” I flex my fingers and turn my wrists. “Did they do something wrong?!” V almost growls, worriedly, grabbing and inspecting my hands in a panic. “No, they're just… my hands… they're just my hands…” I use one of them to poke V in the cheek, and I smile a bit. She tries to bat it away, but stops herself from thinking it's any danger, and almost smiles back. She can't bring herself to make eye contact with me, but that's OK. I've got time, now. N kneels next to my head, and also can't quite bring herself to look at me properly. “I've… really missed you, Cyn,” she murmurs. “Y… you're safe now. You're free.” I'm… free. There's no other voice in my head. It's just me in here for the first time in who knows how long. “I- I'll go tell one of the nurses,” Uzi says, standing a bit farther away. N nods, and she walks out of the room. “How do you feel?” N asks. “Normal,” I respond, which might have been a terrible idea in hindsight. That's exactly what the solver would have wanted me to say, but it's true. I do just feel… normal again. At least, as normal as I used to be, which wasn't much. “I'm… I'm really sorry -” I begin, but V stops me. “No, don't- don't say that. You're… it… it wasn't your fault…?” V says, carefully. Maybe she and N have had a conversation about what to say to me. It feels rehearsed. She stands suddenly and turns away, putting her head in her hands. “I just… why did it have to use her, N? Her voice, it's… I can only hear it as…” she trails off. “I don't think there was any reason, V, it just… we just got unlucky. All of us.” She's talking to her but still looking at me. “Just… think about her now. And how things used to be. How we all used to be.”
“I c- can't… It's… you don't understand, N, you don't remember… it's easy for you to ignore the… horror, isn't it?” N falls silent, and isn't looking at anything in particular anymore. I decide to say something. “I- I remember all of it… it's…” I'm clutching my head all of a sudden, this must all be too much after waking up. Uzi walks back in with another drone. N puts her hand on my arm, reassuringly. “It's alright, it's alright, take it easy,” she says soothingly, “you probably need to rest more. It's a lot for now.” I move my hand from my forehead, and see bits of something on my fingers. Blotches. Dark blotches. I start panicking. It could be oil from inside of me, it could be some sort of residue left from her – both are equally as frightening. The other drone wipes my hand with a towel, then my forehead. I can't make out what it was, but the towel is now stained a dark reddish brown. “She's right,” they say, “you should sleep more. You'll feel better after a proper rest, now that the chip's worn off. Just breathe easy, OK?” They speak authoritatively, but calmly. It's very easy to close my eyes now, so I do, and shuffle back down the bed a little, trying to somehow get comfy on this clean and sterile mattress. “You should give her some space. You know she's alright now. You probably all need rest too. It's been almost all night you've been here.” N sighs. “Y- yeah, the chairs here aren't that comfy anyway,” she says, livening up a little, but she might just be feigning it.